To some extent I agree with you.
I actually enjoy PvP if it is done correctly and a huge amount of that (being done correctly ) is governed by the rules of the game being played. I'm a Freelancer player and the variance of rules on the different servers is huge. On some, you'll get trashed all the time in the exact way you have mentioned - end result - the server dies. On others there are strict rules of engagement which keep everybody happy, and the server grows because non-combatants are as welcome as fighters.
I like to PvP when I want, not as a designated part of the game.
PvE to me is an essential part of the game though. Doing ever tougher missions as you increase your skill/equipment level I find very rewarding. I'm a fighter, not a trader, but some of my friends are traders, not fighters. Never in my playing experience has the term Carebear ever been used.
From what I have seen of Star Citizen so far, I believe there will be a place for everyone to grow in the way they want to grow. It looks to be more of a Wing Commander/Freelancer combo than anything else, so please do not trash it just yet :-)
Regards,
FD